Help! I Married a Musician! The Top 6 Signs that You married a Musician!
Is your garage full of broken sound equipment and instruments? Does your spouse seem to speak a different language when hanging out with other music friends? Do you have more money invested in CDs than in stocks? Then read on! 
When you first met your spouse, you may have been impressed with their music talent. How they played their instrument, sang, or wrote songs may have been part of their endearing qualities. Then you married your musician spouse, and you suddenly realized that entering into marriage with a musician involved more than simply nodding approvingly when he played that guitar lick at midnight or when she wrote that song that brought tears to her mother's eyes.
When you marry a musician you are marrying a music addict - someone who lives, breathes, and dies music.
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Here are the top six signs that you have indeed entered into marriage with a die hard musician. There is no cure for the musician. Even when a musician loses their hearing, sight, or a limb, a musician plays on. Know that you are not alone, and that a lot of patience, and ear plugs, will help you make it successfully through your marriage.
1. Your garage, attic, and/or living room is full of broken sound equipment, old instruments, and audio cables.
This is probably the most obvious and nefarious symptom of being a die hard musician. For some reason you cannot explain, your spouse loves to collect old instruments and antique sound equipment from pawn shops, garage sales, e-bay, and dead relatives. You find that you cannot make it from the back of your house to the front of your house without tripping on an audio cable, a busted music instrument, or a drumstick. You are amazed at your spouse's ability to accrue masses of music instruments when you know you are broke. And what is worse is that your spouse seems to have at least half a dozen friends always ready to dump more instruments, audio cables, MIDI interfaces, microphones, amps, mixers, guitars, drums, and other music trash into your garage. |
| Seriously, who is this guy? |
2. Your spouse seems to suddenly delve into a foreign tongue when talking with other musician friends.
Hang out with your spouse and a group of musician friends, and you will soon be inundated by all types of new music terms like "acoustic", "equalization", "forte'", "aliasing", "fermata", and about six dozen other music terms. Do not even try to interrupt or become part of the conversation. Even the most humble musician can become quite elitist when someone tries to "pose" as a musician by adapting the music lingo.NEED HELP WITH YOUR MUSIC?
3. Reminiscing about the good ole' days when your spouse was jamming with a defunct band over a decade ago is a common occurrence.
You will inevitably know the names of every band and music group that your spouse played with by the end of your first year of marriage. Even if the band only lasted three months and only cut one album that had about ten sales total, your spouse will reminisce over those "good ole days" decades and decades afterward.
4. Your spouse insists on taking you to every music event in town, even if you cannot stand bluegrass, classical music, punk, rock, rap, polka, or whatever other music tastes your spouse enjoys.
When your musician spouse takes your to these music concerts, do your best to enjoy them. This is an integral part of your spouse's identity that they want to share with you.5. If you had a dollar for every compact disk, audiocassette, and vinyl that you own, you could put your children through college.
Until the advent of the MP3-player, all music was recorded on a variety of media, such as LPs, 8-tracks, compact disks, and audiocassettes. When music became downloadable, your spouse decided that instead of transferring all of your old music into a more compact format, the MP3, he or she put all said old media into large boxes to stay in your closet collecting dust. Now a musician will have a technical explanation for this. It will go something like this: "MP3's are small files that lose some of the audio data during compression which means that you cannot get the full quality of sound that you normally will get with an [8-track, compact disk, record]." What your spouse really means is that this huge collection of music means more to your spouse than your puppy, and that only a nuclear holocaust will separate them from their favorite albums.6. Your spouse is happier after performing at a music gig than on your wedding day.
Performing music in front of a crowd gives a musician a sense of euphoria and accomplishment that cannot be duplicated. If your spouse seems happier playing in front of a bar full of drunks than after your last romantic encounter, do not take it personally. At the end of the day, your spouse loves you and would not trade you for all of the instruments in the world (well, except for maybe that Fender Stratocaster hanging in the music store window).
So what do you think about our list? Did I miss anything? Share in the comments below!!!
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